an observation

If human beings started reproducing asexually, that would FUCK the advertising industry.

Don't mind me, I'm just full of bad poster concepts

Here are some fake movie/play poster ideas:

Movie: A hardened looking man in a Catholic priest outfit has blood on his face and points a giant magnum gun at the camera. The title: "Critical Mass"

Play: In a fancy game-room in an elegant mansion, a man in a tux and top hat and a woman in an elegant party dress look at each other coyly as they hold pool cues over a pool table. Title: Noel Coward's "Social Cues"

Movie: A dog wearing sunglasses on a longboard surfboard with a guy behind him holding the Ark of the covenant.
Title: "Bark of the Covenant"

"The Dramatization Killer"

On a true crime show a la Unsolved Mysteries or FBI's most wanted:

A dramatization about a serial killer who only kills people on the sets of dramatizations of murders.

y'know the path to upbeatness, chum?

Myth: Identity Theft is the growingmost crime in America.

Fact: Growingmost is NOT a word.



RECENT READ: "Let Us Now Raze Famous Hens: A Sociological Study of Cockfighting in the Rural South."

Good Read. Learned a Lot.



Q: How many chinese people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: First off, it's impossible to screw someone inside a lightbulb - it's too cramped - and second, why would I need chinese people to screw?

We Are All Winners

Even the biggest loser started his life as a winner. He was once the fastest sperm. He won THE race.

When you are depressed think about this concept and I say it will make you feel better.

And especially if you are depressed that you never have won a race.

yours,

M.I. Neandours

cliche's lounge

why do we use the expression "it's like stealing candy from a baby" to denote that something is remarkably easy.

Have you ever stolen candy from a baby?

Well I have. They scream like fucking banshees as soon as you've taken the candy.

Then everyone in the room looks at you. And there you are holding the candy that the baby just had and was enjoying.

Is that phrase supposed to be ironic. Boy, I'll say it is.

-m

A Dream Come False

Possible t-shirt slogans for screenings:

Damn, that's poetic
Brian Cox is the man
Give Me Anything But Math!
Marriage is Gay

Sketch: Commercial: For bank. Asking customers why they use American Eagle Bank. They all say "I love their advertising." "The ads really made me want to bank here." Cut back to sketch at AD agency.

Divorce Ceremony.

Sketch: An artist at a press conference, all the old-timey reporters just ask things like "Mr. ---, what is art?" and "Is something art because you hang it on a wall?"

Pac-Man Hustler.

Just a thought

Of all the paintings by Magritte, and Dali, and Escher, there is nothing in the world so surreal as the past.